September 10, 2007 by David.

I often wonder if I’m doing it right. It, obviously, can mean many a different things. In this case, that usage is intentional.

I’m I gaining the approval of my Father? I had that same thought many times while growing up. I often wondered if my earthly father approved of me. Was he proud of my grades? Or my artwork? Or my music? Or did he expect it of me and I was simply fulfilling what I needed to fulfill?

Now, as a father of 3 boys, I still wonder the same thing, but not from my earthly father. At the very least, an earthly father can offer his verbal confirmation that he approves of you or your choices. My heavenly father, unfortunately, hasn’t been really verbal. Uh…ever. Although, that could be a good thing, as a voice inside my head telling me I’m doing a great job would be kind of creepy. And probably land me in some sort of white jacket with really long sleeves…

But I digress. I wonder if I’m doing the things He wants of me. Am I showing love enough or in the fashion He would hope? Am I living with virtue and integrity or am I just scraping by?

At times, I really do wish an audible voice would thunder from the sky. As much as it might scare me into soiling myself, the feedback would be much appreciated at times.

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September 6, 2007 by David.

You know, if there is one word that could single-handedly define modern American culture, it would have to be excess.

Try ordering a small drink at Wendy’s sometime. You’ll get the options of Medium (the new small), Large (the new medium) and Jumbo (the new bladder-buster). I made the mistake of ordering a medium lemonade once. Apparently, the girl behind the counter did the translation for me (she assumed I meant large) and handed me a cup that could have stored half of Lake Michigan in it. Ironically, because of the 35 pounds of ice inside, there was barely room for the actual drink itself, but I digress.

Go to any gas station and look for a “Honey bun”. More than likely, what you’ll find is the Jumbo Honey buns. Yikes - those suckers have enough calories to feed Indonesia for a month. And we down one by ourselves here in the US.

Fattest nation in the world. Yup - US. Wealthiest nation? You got it - US. Biggest houses? Oh yeah, US by a long shot.

Even our SUVs are stupid big. Seriously, I see veritable tanks - probably getting 2 Mpg - on the highway all the time. Even more confusing is the fact that there is only 1 person inside these monsters of the road. ONE PERSON! I’m not an environmentalist, but for goodness sakes, is the 8 foot tall by 20 foot long SUV with a V-120 really that necessary to commute in Atlanta?

Don’t get me wrong - I’ve succumbed to excess as much as anybody. Who, in their right mind, would have 3 iPods in the same house? Or three computers?

*lowers chin and mumbles a lame excuse *

We even have an excess number of churches. Some countries - entire countries, mind you - only have a handful of churches. I haven’t counted, but I’m pretty sure that I pass at least 1,352 every day to work. At that, at least half of those are “First Baptist…”. Seriously people, we can’t ALL be first. Ahhhh, American excess at its finest…

So, what’s my point? Sure, it’s nice to have an abundance of things but the truth is that we’d all be better off if we moderated our lives more. We really don’t need the super-Jumbo size Wendy’s meal with a Vanilla frosty (yum). The standard sized, sans Frosty, is more than enough for 98% of the population - if not more than enough. We really don’t need the Venti Cinnamon Dolce Latte, Sugar-free, Fat-free light whip coffee from Starbucks. A small coffee with sugar and cream probably would have been perfect.

Look at the benefits of moderation and you’ll begin to notice a difference. Moderate your food intake and you’ll probably not be obese. Moderate your television viewing and you’ll probably have more family time. Moderate your car size and you’ll probably have more money (by not burning it on fuel).

It’s a pretty simple concept really. All things in moderation…

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September 4, 2007 by David.

For those who don’t know, the phrase “to white knuckle” something refers to the process of doing something in an intense and deliberate “force of will” type of way. You’ll often hear of the phrase being used to describe an addict who is quitting cold-turkey. Alcoholics Anonymous uses the phrase for people who quit drinking without embracing the belief in God aspects of the twelve step program. Just so you know, it’s widely believed that people who “white knuckle” their addiction problems almost always return to them.

In many ways, I think a large number of people in the church today are “white knuckling” their faith. I think this, because for the longest time, I was one of them.

Faith, at times, seems esoteric in its nature. We talk about it and laud it, but few understand it - especially early in their adoption of it. Let’s be honest: faith is not easy to define. The belief in an invisible being is not in our primary nature. We’re very visual, sensual beings. We want to touch, smell, feel or hear things around us. In fact, it’s the lack of these senses that makes faith unattainable for many people. The fact that they can’t touch God, or hear God, or smell Him or see Him makes faith little more than fiction to them.

Which is exactly why many people end up “white knuckling” their faith.

We “force” our faith - often because any expression of doubt or raising of questions is seen as a lack of faith. I’ve heard many people say that faith replaces doubt or that doubt disappears when faith appears. It’s as if the two - doubt and faith - are polar opposites destined to never co-exist. To me, this statement or long-held dogma, is one of the primary reasons people leave the faith. It ignores what real life is like. It concentrates on the ideal and forgets the human element of maintaining a faith.

For me, I spent years forcing my faith. I refused to ask critical questions of it or express doubt. Utterances of “God is in control” or “He will work it out” were commonplace for me. I look back at that person now and realize that he was trying his best to represent a faith that people had painted for him. He was presenting a faith that was perfect and unfailing.

He was delusional.

The truth is, I believe faith and doubt do co-exist. At least for me, there have been times when I’ve questioned the very existence of God. Time that I’ve wondered aloud if He is there, and if so, if He even cares at all. There have been times when my mind has been flooded with questions and doubts. In the past, I would have pretended those thoughts weren’t there. Now, I embrace them as a part of my humanity. I embrace the doubts and questions, because for me, it is proof of my longing to be closer to the creator.

If I never doubt and never ask questions, it is as if I could care less about whether God does or does not exist. This may not be true for some people, but I suspect it’s true for more people than would care to admit to it.

So, here I stand (or sit, as the case may be) ready to embrace doubt and questions in the pursuit of a stronger faith. Slowly, I’m realizing that faith is a journey, not a destination. It’s not something you suddenly have as much as it is something you work on. Embracing the duality of doubt and faith, amazingly, has freed me from the feeling of having to “white knuckle” my faith.

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August 31, 2007 by David.

Of all the things I’ve struggled with over the last few years, homosexuality is at the forefront. Not that I myself am struggling with it - I’m not - it’s more about the position the church has taken on the issue and whether it’s the right position or not.

As with many things, I think the modern church is out-of-touch on this issue.

First of all, one of the things I’ve heard from church leaders (both local and national) is that homosexuals are corrupt and that a large number of them are child-molesters.  But, then I see several studies that show that most child-molesters are actually not gay, but straight. I’ve also heard church leaders say that most homosexuals come from broken homes and have terrible relationships with their parents, but mostly with their father. But, then I befriend several gay men during my career and come to find out that not only do they not have bad relationships with their parents, they have better relationships with their fathers than I do. Oh irony of ironies.

Then, even more evidence piles up that suggests that the brains of homosexuals are physically different than those of straight people. Evidence strongly suggests that - at the very least - the predisposition to be a homosexual is indeed influenced by physical differences in the brain. I hear Christians proclaim that “God would never create a human to be inherently sinful.” Well, would a loving God create people with birth or brain defects? If you haven’t noticed, people are born that way every single day. Something isn’t making sense here.

In the midst of all this, I hear the vomit-inducing phrase “Love the sinner, hate the sin.” It’s akin to giving yourself permission to judge the sin in other peoples lives but still being a “loving Christian.”

For me, though, the words of Jesus keep echoing in my brain reminding me of His take on all of this. In Matthew 7:3, He tells those listening “Why do you look at the speck that is in your brother’s eye, but do not notice the log that is in your own eye?” In other words, before I begin looking at what is sin in another person’s life, I should turn an eye to my own. For the standard by which I judge others is the same standard I will be judged by. The simple act of identifying sin is something He suggested we not even bother with. I think He knew that it was easy for us to do, a fixation we would be trapped by.

So, do I believe homosexuality is a sin? The simple answer is this: It doesn’t matter what I think. Only God establishes what is sin or not. Some say that’s a cop-out, I say it’s the Biblical standard. The only thing that matters is whether a person is truly pursuing God. If I know of things in my life that are preventing that, then what ever “that” is can be identified as sin. Whether it’s pornography, alcohol, movies, drugs, women or my own self-gratification through whatever means - whatever breaks and hurts my relationship with God is sin. I find it amazingly ironic that Christians can justify murder (whether it’s war or the death penalty) when it’s directly addressed in the Ten Commandments, but they’ll be the first to condemn homosexuality when it is barely even addressed throughout the entire Bible. In fact, some of the verses that address homosexuality could be subject to reinterpretation based on the timeframes they were written in (think the book of Romans, and the practice of taking young, male sex-slaves by Roman men during that day). But, that’s another topic for another day.

I’m not saying there’s a free pass for everyone. But, rather than focusing on the things that are easily identifiable, we should be focusing on ourselves and what we are pursuing. As for me, I’m still working on the Giant Oak in my left and right eye.

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August 30, 2007 by David.

OK, I’m about to start a rant here, so you are now forewarned.

I’m sick and tired of people using the “Jesus” trump card. It’s getting stupid. It’s as if these people think that by putting “God on your side” somehow justifies what you’re doing or what you’ve done.

The who in particular is two people: President Bush and Michael Vick. Let me start with the latter.

Mr. Vick - I was once one of your biggest fans. I often went slack-jawed at your physical abilities. I believe you had what it took to win a Super-Bowl and bring the first football championship to Atlanta. And then you go and get yourself involved in some very stupid and inhumane things. I’m no fan of pit-bulls, but brutally killing any animal is a sign of deeper troubling issues. Believe it or not, I could get over and even forgive for this stupidity. But then you went and did it.

After pleading guilty, you held a press conference where you told us you were culpable for what happened. You took responsibility. But then you told us that you had “found Jesus.” Whether you did or not is of little interest to me. It was the fact that you used it as a convenient trump card that is akin to the “reset” button on a video game console. What did you think our response would be? “Oh, well, he found Jesus so we have to let him start over. We have to let him play football again because God would want it that way.” Sorry - “finding Jesus” doesn’t mean “get out of jail free.”

Dear Mr. President - where do I begin? I hear your followers plead their loyalty to you, but not for any particular policy reasons. They follow you because you’re a “Christian.” They love that you fear God and that you want to bring the US back to the days when it was a Christian nation (never mind the fact that it was NEVER a Christian nation). They love your black-and-white approach to fighting terrorism (ignoring the fact that we buddy up to Saudi Arabia, the nation of whom over 90% of 9/11 terrorists were from). They love your stance against abortion, for prayer in schools and your willingness to use government money to prop up Christian ministries.

Well, I’m sorry, but I just can’t get on board because someone says “God told them to.” I can’t justify using the Creator of everything as a political prop. Don’t get me wrong, I believe you’re sincere and frankly, the Democrats are just as dubious about this getting God on their side thing. I’m just tired of people using their faith as evidence that they are a good leader, or that their decisions are the right ones.

All of this reminds me of a question once asked of Abraham Lincoln. One of our greatest leaders ever was asked “Mr. President, do you believe that God is on your side?” In his wisdom, Lincoln responded “I’m not as much concerned with God being on my side as I am with being on God’s side.”

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August 30, 2007 by David.

In sports, there is an understanding that no matter how good you are you should never look too far ahead. Sports history is riddled with instances where teams or athletes took their opponents for granted - and many were ultimately upset.

For example, Mike Tyson, undoubtedly, was thinking about Evander Holyfield (the #1 contender at the time) when he fought a virtually unranked fighter by the name of Buster Douglas. Douglas ended up being the first man to ever knock Mike Tyson out.  Tyson was caught looking too far ahead and ignored that which was right in front of him.

In many ways, I think many Christians are dangerously close to doing what Tyson did. They are focused on getting to heaven and taking as many people with them as they can. In fairness, this life is very short and one never knows when your time will come. However, there is a point at which we’re looking too far ahead.

What we need to remember, and reminder ourselves constantly of, is that hell is both a spiritual and physical existence. As Rob Bell puts it, hell is any place devoid of God’s desire for man. It’s not so much a “punishment” as it is a consequence of our lives or our circumstances. There are many, many people in this world that are in a literal living hell. And while these people may need salvation from a spiritual hell, many of them need immediate salvation from the hell here on earth.

Passing out tracts in bathrooms seems silly when children in third world countries are starving or people are being massacred en masse in places like Darfur.

Unfortunately for me, this criticism is as much self-levied as it is levied at others. I’ve not been active in helping people escape hell on earth. I’d sooner buy the latest video game than send that money to feed those starving children. So, my hypocrisy is not lost on me. I recognize it and realize it needs to change - or I just need to shut up about it.

I guess I’m just trying to keep from looking too far ahead.

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August 29, 2007 by David.

I’m not sure if I’m getting uncomfortably fixated on death, but I’ve been thinking a tremendous amount about what I will look back on one day. We all talk about it - what we want to be remembered for, the memories we’ll take with us. We wonder if the life we’ll look back on will be one worth the reflection. As I’ve delved into these thoughts, I find myself caring about fewer and fewer things and caring more and more about a select few.

There is so much noise - clutter - distraction - in our lives. Much of it, to be honest, is pointless.

Should a church play progressive music or stick to hymns? Pointless.  Should we dress up for Sundays or dress down? Pointless.

Did I achieve all I could in my career? Pointless. Did I get the new iPhone? Pointless.

Did I sponsor the right political candidates? Pointless. Did I join the right party? Pointless.

Did I see all the award winning movies from last year? Pointless. Did I buy the latest Fuel CD? Pointless.

As I examine that which is pointless, it becomes overwhelming. When I die, there is an endless list of things that I once cared about that won’t matter at all.

This is painful for a gadget-freak to admit to.

There are many things I put many hours into that I can’t even remember now. Granted, some of those experiences have positively shaped me or given me experiences to learn from - but I’m not sure that they deserved the amount of attention that I gave to them. Each hour in front of a computer or tech-gadget was an hour away from the people I love. Some of it was necessary but much of it was just pointless. Utterly pointless.

I used to care desperately what people thought about me. I wanted - more than anything at times - for people to agree with me, as if their validation made me more whole. Now I don’t care. I’ve realized that external validation is fruitless and endless. It’s not that I don’t care what people think - it’s that I could care less about whether they agree with me. In fact, I’ve gone from being a political madman to be being absolutely apathetic about the whole political process.

I find myself caring more about people than politics. More about souls than salary. And I like the change.

It’s easy to get caught up in the pointless things because they’re easy. They provide immediate rewards. It’s easy to feel the pride of making a computer work again or of setting the high score in the newest video game. The good stuff - the stuff worth working on - is usually messy. Relationships can be frustrating, painful, dirty, hurtful, complex, and challenging.  There’s often no immediate payoff to these things. At times, these things - the non-pointless things - can actually derail our lives from the course we’ve set for ourselves. And yet, there is nothing more rewarding or lifelong fulfilling than spending time with those you love. There’s nothing like watching your sons grow up before your very eyes. And there’s nothing like the tender words of an enduring and faithful wife.

I just hope I’m able to filter out the pointless things better. It’s a struggle - and one I’m apt to fail at many times more - but I hope my focus is different and aimed away from all that is pointless.

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August 28, 2007 by David.

I wonder if the Holy Spirit ever feels totally dissed. Seriously - it is the TRInity after all. Yet, all people can seem to talk about is God this and Jesus that.

Do you think the Angels that followed Lucifer ever look back and say “Man, what was I thinking!”

Sometimes, I wonder if free will is all it’s cracked up to be. I imagine puppets would have it much easier.

I’d love to be a muppet. Except the part where someone sticks their arm up my spine and makes me talk.

Is it just me, or do you want to toss hook and sinker at those “Jesus fish” thingies on the back of peoples cars?

If you’re intentionally being lame, are you still lame or are you now unique?

At the end of the day, aren’t we all unique, no matter how hard we try to be like someone else?

If religion is the opiate of the masses, what is the crystal-meth of the masses?

If we did find alien life on other planets, what would that do to religion? And more importantly, what would it do the Social Security System?

If all our thoughts are is nothing more than electrical signals, I wonder what thinking about electrical signals looks like?

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August 28, 2007 by David.

“Just trust God and everything will work out.”

I don’t know how many times I’ve heard this in my life. I appreciate the sentiment and all, but I think this phrase is fatally flawed.

God is not a genie. He is not waiting in a magic lamp to grant us our deepest wishes.

Usually, that phrase accompanies dark moments for us. Moments when God seems distant and uncaring. Moments when the world is not as it should be. Usually, that phrase is intended to provide hope for someone who is feeling rather hopeless. And in those times, that phrase makes sense - if for no other reason than to provide comfort.

But the words aren’t true.

Everything doesn’t always work out. Sometimes things get drastically worse. And at times, things don’t work out at all. The truth is that we live in a broken world with broken people. As long as that is the case, things will not always work out. It’s not in our nature for everything to work out.

Not every cancer goes into remission. Not every illness is met with healing. And not every soul finds redemption.

Everything doesn’t always work out. Just read the paper or turn on the TV and you’ll see more than enough examples of this. Ask the residents of Iraq if “everything will work out.” Or the starving children in Africa. Or the mother of gang members gunned down on the street.

Broken world. Broken people.

But the first part of that phrase is paramount. “Just trust God.” Leave the addendum out. Don’t think of God as some magician waiting to reveal that it was all a trick to begin with. That’s insulting to someone who could sneeze and wipe-out entire galaxies. If He sneezed, of course.

It’s that trusting that we need. It’s that acceptance that sometimes things will not work out like we hoped. That things will often not go the way they should, or the way we desire. We need that trust. When we can’t make sense of things, it is that simple trust - with no addendum - that is critical.

Without trust, there isn’t hope.

So, no, everything will not work out. It may get worse. It may get really, really bad. You may never know the reasons why, in fact.

Just trust.

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August 27, 2007 by David.

It’s funny.

The more questions I ask, the less I know. The more questions I ask, the fewer answers I have.

Amazingly, asking questions doesn’t always lead to answers. In fact, when it comes to asking these kind of questions, I’d say that asking questions rarely leads to answers. Or maybe I’m getting answers and they aren’t the answers I’m expecting. Maybe I asked God for salvation from up high and he sent me a boat. “Cool. A boat. But I’m waiting for God.” Whoops.

You know what? I’m cool with it. I’m cool with not getting answers. I’m cool with realizing that I’m not as smart as I once thought I was. I’m really cool with the idea that I don’t have my crap together. And amazingly, I’m cool that many of my questions may never be answered.

To me, it’s proof that there is a God.

Think about it. If WE are all that there is, then there is nothing that is beyond us. There is nothing - no question, no theory, no query - that will go unanswered. Eventually, given enough time, all will be answered. But if there IS something bigger than us, then it is likely - no, NECESSARY - that many of my questions will not be answered. Why? Because He is so much more than I am, that the answer will never fit in this tiny brain of mine. The answer will be bigger and more vast than the earth that dwarfs me, or the galaxy that swallows the earth, or the universe that makes nothing of us all.

And yet, I know that there is an answer. It’s a balance of sorts. Every question has some answer, whether we understand the answer or not. Every query returns a result, whether it’s pleasing, puzzling or revolting. The formation of science is derived to find the answers, as if there is a finite list. Science aims to sum everything into convenient laws, that start as theories, which is a fancy word for questions. And still, after all these years, science still can’t explain it all. In fact, some scientists have created a science that basically says that for many things, the only explanation is that there is NO explanation. Brilliant guys they are.

So, the more I ask questions, the more I realize there is a God. The more I ask questions, the more I grow comfortable with not knowing it all.

It’s good. Very good. It’s good that questions don’t always lead to answers.

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