August 8, 2007 by David.

“Don’t worry, everything happens for a reason.”

“God is in control.”

“God surely has a purpose for this.”

Uh…no.

I think one of the biggest lies people have ever dumped on friends and family is the promise that everything happens for a reason. The underlying belief is that God is up in the sky like a gigantic puppeteer, controlling the most minute details of life. Tragedy. Comedy. Romance. He’s the director of it all, right?

I have a saying I like to share with anyone that has ears: “We give God too much credit for things we credit Him for and not enough credit where He was actually involved.” I hold to that. I don’t think we’ll ever fully understand how detailed or pulled-back His involvement has been in our lives. We can assume, and we can attempt to comfort ourselves with a delusional statement that “everything happens for a reason.” I think the reality is that many things - including the difficult to understand things - just happen.

When I see events like what happened at Virginia Tech, I’d like to believe that there was a “purpose” to it, but I have a hard time believing that God took those students for some grand purpose. Some master plan that involved their premature deaths. I know there’s some comfort in telling ourselves that events like these are part of a greater design. I don’t know. To me, it feels like there’s a touch of randomness to it all - a touch of things that won’t ever be explained or clarified.

But, can’t God use these things, even if He didn’t intend on them?  I suppose He could, but some things would appear to be so extreme, that “using” it doesn’t even seem appropriate. Is it really appropriate to use the deaths of thousands to “pull us all closer together?” Are we so distanced that it takes great tragedy to remind us of our own humanity? Actually, the truth to that question may be more disturbing than the greater question at hand.

Let me clarify something. I do believe that God can work in this world and that He has intervened. The fact that I’m married to the woman I am married to is proof that God does intervene, although, I’m still not sure what He’s punishing Shea for…

I also believe that God mourns the tragedies that happen here. Much like a father would hurt when one of his children hurts (a good father, anyway).

At the end of the day, I don’t think any of us will ever know what was intended and what was not. Who knows, I may be completely wrong and God may be the grand puppeteer people make Him out to be. If so, then my question would most certainly shift from “if” to “why”…

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August 7, 2007 by David.

When it comes down to it, those of us that spend our first day of the week in a church, the question inevitably has come up at some point or another. If you’re an involved member, then it’s almost mandatory that this question comes up. Church, when it comes down to it, is another activity or involvement in life that takes up time. It may be as little as 1 hour a week or as much as a full-time job. Truly though, what IS the purpose of church and at the end of the day, is it even necessary?

I’m wondering that still and I think the answer has more to do with what the church is doing than anything else. It also depends on your goals in life. As with anything, finding the right church is very important. Simply going to a church because your friends are there, or because your granddaddy helped build it is not really reason enough anymore. A church - for all intents and purposes - is a community of like-minded individuals (or should be). Like-minded doesn’t mean you agree on everything, rather, your outlook on life has a very similar bent. Details not withstanding.

Still, though, the question remains. I suppose church is no more necessary than drinking tea or soda. You could suffice with just water (which, ironically, is probably healthier anyhow). But life is seasoned with the tastes of things we don’t need. Certainly, we should balance our needs and wants lest we become gluttons and consume endlessly. Life, however, is made sweeter through the extras. In many ways, I see church in this same light, which is why I don’t want anything to do with 95% of the churches out there.

Most of the churches around are bent on convincing you that you need them and not vice versa. They have the answers you seek. They have the programs your family needs. They can tell you how to live your life. BLEH. No thanks, Joe.

I’m not in the phase of my life where I need someone carting me around. Nor do I need anyone to tell me what I’m doing wrong or right. God gave me a brain for that and I intend on using it. Mostly.

The remaining 5%, though, may have something to offer that sweetens our lives and though not a necessity to live, they certainly can add flavor to a mundane existence. These few churches aim to help people grow - individually - in their relationships and life. They don’t aim to reshape a person but rather to fully shape them. They don’t aim to control your life as much as they want to be a part of it. You can find life-long friends in these places and experience grace and encouragement. In short, it should be a place you should want to go to. I’ve spent too many years going to churches I dreaded going to. Why? There’s no sense in it.

Is it necessary? To me, no. But, given the right church, it could end up being a sweet flavor that ends up making life a little bit nicer.

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August 6, 2007 by David.

If you’ve ever seen the game show “The Weakest Link,” you know that it consists of a group of contestants answering questions and eliminating the “weakest” competitor after each round. In theory, when you get to the end of the game, the final few contestants are arguably the strongest and most capable. In practice, people eliminated other contestants for a variety of reasons, and you usually did not end up with the strongest contestants at the end.

Unfortunately, this model has been employed by churches now for years. The theory goes, if you eliminate the weakest link in a chain, you strengthen the whole chain. Nice theory, but it’s ignorant of grace and it relies on the idea that links can not be fixed.

I was thinking about this in some perplexing detail. What if a link became weak in a chain? What options do you have? Well, if the link in the chain is stretched by the links nearest him, eventually the link will break. When the link breaks, the damage to the chain has been done.

But, what if you decide to loosen the tension on that link - collapse all the other links around it, if you will. With the tension relieved, you could actually set about repairing the link. You could find the stress fractures and do some welding to strengthen those areas. In a short period of time, you could make the link whole again - changed, but still whole. The interesting thing about welding is this: usually, the spot of the weld - where the weakness was apparent - is usually stronger than the rest of the body. So, in other words, by choosing to heal the link, you may have actually made the link stronger than it previously was.

Here are some of the problems with the discard theory to link management. First, the chain as a whole is shortened, lessening it’s effectiveness. It’s not much shorter, but this theory allows for a continual decline in effectiveness. Secondly, though you may have discarded a weak length now, it’s likely that another link will become weak in time. After all, these links are all under the same tension. All the links are being pulled on both sides - the weak link was no different than any other. Finally, by repairing the weakest link, you’re actually - in the long run - potentially making the link stronger. You see, the repairs actually fix the problems that existed, rather than ignoring them or discarding them in the first place. The problems will continue to be there, whether manifested in one link or one hundred links. By fixing them, you gain a better understanding of what makes a link work and how best to position them. In turn, the chain as a whole becomes more effective.

Somewhere along the way, churches lost sight of the fact that being in a church doesn’t make you better. It’s not a refuge to get away from the sick, it is a refuge FOR the sick. It’s not a place to avoid life’s problems. It’s a place to confront them. We need to treat our brothers and sisters the same way we’d want to be treated (imagine that). Let’s not discard people on the first sign of weakness. Rather, let’s gather around them, be a healing force for them, and watch the chain as a whole be strengthened.

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August 4, 2007 by David.

Not that long ago, a huge trend swept across this country that both fascinated AND disturbed me. The trend caught on so big, that people were able to piggy-back their products on it so that they could sell more than usual. The trend hit big books stores to local pawn shops and was covered in the news. The trend? WWJD - What Would Jesus Do. One simple bracelet with those 4 letters lit the Christian market on fire. It was really quite amazing to see how this simple, yet poignant phrase took off.

It was also disturbing.

Don’t get me wrong - I’m all in favor of reminding oneself of what Jesus would do in a given situation. Although, I always thought it funny that I’d get cut-off in traffic by someone with a “Jesus fish” on the back of their car - but that’s for another post. To be fair, the WWJD trend started innocently enough, with sincere Christians desiring a visible reminder of what their faith should really mean to them. That part isn’t disturbing - it’s what followed that really chaps my hide.

In the following months, something began to happen. What started as an innocent enough reminder of faith turned into a multi-million dollar marketing campaign. Now, instead of WWJD being limited to bracelets, it was spreading to T-shirts, baseball caps and other clothing. Tattoo parlors had added WWJD as one of their new tats (accompanied by a killer tribal, no doubt). Tired of your old Bible? Well, for just $24.95, you could get your specially branded WWJD Bible. Act now, and we’ll throw in this WWJD T-Shirt, WWJD hat and WWJD bracelet at no charge. I think, but may be wrong, that there was even a WWJD compilation CD put together with some of the rising names in Christian music! In no time flat, what was once an expression of faith turned into a money-making machine. And somewhere along the way, the heart of the message was lost in the cha-ching of the cash registers.

The sad thing is, it’s not the first time and it’s not going to be the last. As a matter of fact, if you walk into any Christian bookstore right now, there’s a really good chance you’ll be able to pick out the next trend very quickly. More than likely, it will be featured on end-caps or upright displays. Posters will be hanging from the ceilings. Window clings will announce the special deals and new products tied to this trend. And, as sure as one-legged duck swims in a circle, Christians will buy it all up, never once examining the fact that their faith is being exploited for financial gain.

It makes you wonder - if Jesus was physically here today, WWJS…

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August 3, 2007 by David.

Death. We see it nightly on our newscasts. We hear it on the radio. We sing about it, write about it and make movies about it. And why not? It’s the only thing we can be certain of.

Sorry - I don’t mean to be depressing. But the thought occurred to me - why are we so afraid of our own deaths? What is it about this change that shakes us? I’d like to offer up some potential reasons:

Uncertainty of the Afterlife. I think most of us, at some point or another, question whether there is an afterlife. Many people flat out deny there is one. So, in those instances, death is the finale - the last curtain call. There’s just something about the end that is scary. What if we were wrong? What if we picked the wrong religion or didn’t earn our way in? There are so many questions about the afterlife that every faith attempts to quiet, but few ever do.

Unfulfilled Life. I think death exposes our fears about life more than of death itself. The thought of dying and having NOT lived is terrifying to some. Some people take it to the extreme and tempt death. Others are so fearful of death that they hide away, never embracing many of the excitements that life offers. Death puts lives under a microscope and makes us question whether the life we live is the one we want to live. Has it been fulfilling and rewarding? Or are we just biding time until death comes knocking?

Not Providing for Loved Ones Left Behind. What happens if I die today? Will my family be taken care of? Have I put the things in place that I need to, like life insurance or savings? This one scares me as well. With a wife and 3 kids - and being the sole bread-winner - I want to ensure that my death will not cause them pains in life (other than the obvious emotional ones).

Unresolved Fights or Conflicts. This one should scare any person. We see it in the movies and tv shows all the time. Two people have a big fight. One walks away, the other dies. The survivor is racked with guilt. I think this fear often has me by the throat. Am I right with my family and friends at this moment, or have I left things unsaid? Have I apologized where I needed to? Have I told the people that matter to me that I love them? Can I die now, and know that the people in my life know where we stand?

As I thought through these, it dawned on me that many of these are avoidable, to some extent. Obviously, faith does not mean we don’t have doubts, so there will always be some uncertainty about the afterlife. However, the other things can be worked on. I can start making decisions to live a fulfilling life. I can spend more time with my family and friends and less time crawling my way up the corporate ladder. I can also get the life insurance my family will benefit from, all while stowing away enough money for a rainy day. Finally, I can make it a point to get together with my friends and family to ensure that I’ve said the things I need to say. To ensure that I forgive those who have wronged me and to ask for forgiveness from those I’ve wronged.

As painful as death can be, maybe it’s the shadow that it casts that reminds us of the sunshine we otherwise have.

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August 3, 2007 by David.

If I’m openly critical of the church, but am also a member of one, am I also criticizing myself?

Identifying what is sin and what is not sin is kind of like trying to build a lego set without the manual. You kind of know what it looks like, but really, you’re just kind of taking a shot in the dark. And you’ll probably get it wrong.

If what we do for the “least of these” is what we have done for Jesus, how could I ever say I love Him? He saw what I said to that homeless guy once - ouch.

Pursuing career is exactly like pursuing the stupid, gorgeous girl. It’s fun and looks like the way to go, until you dig deeper and find absolutely nothing there.

One day, I will grow up. Once I do, I’ll die. And, according to Shirley Mclaine, then it starts over again. How depressing.

Does Michael Vick have any clue how much trouble he’s in? He kind of reminds me of my kids after they’ve destroyed their bedrooms - they thought it was fun at the time, but then I come along and reality sinks in.

If the only big question I deal with today is “do you want fries with that,” then it’s been a pretty good day.

I think that it’s entirely possible that I’m overthinking all of this.

Somewhere along the way, I got bored with the status quo - or, the status quo got bored with me - either way, there’s definitely a rift in our relationship now.

Is a thought ever truly random since, by definition, you had to think about it?

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August 2, 2007 by David.

Anyone who knows me - or one of the historical variations of me - knows I’ve had a tendency to dive headfirst intro controversy. It’s not that I like arguing (I do) or that I’m highly opinionated (I am), it’s mostly that I like to challenge the status quo. I like for people to think - to examine further the things they say they believe. For me, the best way to do this is to invoke a little controversy. Sure, it can cause some heightened emotions, but it’s just so much darn fun!

Now, consider for a moment the following scenario: You’re told that you and your children will now be legally required to kneel five times a day to bow towards Mecca. If you don’t, they can be arrested and thrown in jail. Or, consider this: You’re told that you and your children will no longer be allowed to eat any meat or dairy products. Doing so could also result in arrest and jail time. How about this: You and your children can be arrested and thrown in jail for eating more than a set number of calories in any given day.

This examples may seem extreme, or patently absurd, but there is a reason I’ve used them. They involve personal choice. You don’t want someone dictating to you that you have to kneel towards Mecca. You don’t want someone telling you what you can or can’t eat, or the quantity thereof. If you want a ding-dong, by golly, you’re gonna eat a ding-dong! And you shouldn’t have to be fearful that the government is going to knock down your door for your poor eating choices.

Yet, whereas most people would agree that they don’t want government to make these activities illegal, Christians have gotten into the rut of demanding that other types of things be made illegal. Yup - I’m about to open that can of worms. I hope you’re ready.

Disclaimer: Anything said from this point forward is likely to offend standard Christian sensibilities. If you’re completely content with those sensibilities and can’t read on without a) developing a desire to kill me b) feeling the need to correct me c) feeling the need to pray for my lost and dying soul or d) all of the above, then please don’t read on anymore. You and I will both be happier for it.

OK, if you’ve made it this far, you’re either open to a different opinion, or you already have it out for me. Either is fine by me.

As I see it, this opinion can apply to a multitude of issues, but I’m going to reference just a few in particular because they are “hot-topics” right now in the Church. These issues would be 1) The Ten Commandments on Government property 2) Prayer in schools and 3) Abortion (hehe).

First off - the Ten Commandments. Surely, David, as a Christian, you can’t say you don’t want them in our Courthouses and other government institutions? Actually, that’s exactly what I’m saying. I know people are absolutely convinced that the good ole’ US of A is a “Christian” nation. Nevermind the fact that several of our founding fathers weren’t Christians or the fact that many of the ones that were are not cut in the same mold as a Bible-belt Christian is. Many of them thought that, even though there was a God, He did not intervene or involve himself in the daily lives of humans. It’s true that portions of our founding documents were written with Biblical principles in mind, but I challenge you to find one of those documents that specifically references Jesus Himself. Go on. Look for it. It’s not there. Not only that, but I don’t want to head to the local courthouse one day to see that the Qur’an is now displayed in prominence. Don’t think it can happen here? Take a look at the immigration issues Europe is having and tell me how we’re immune.

Secondly - prayer in schools. NO - David, you can’t say you don’t want your children to pray! That’s too far, you hell-bound heathen! Actually, I love it when my children talk to God. It reminds me of how shallow my prayers can be. But no, I don’t want the government mandating that my children pray, even if it is a “generic” prayer. Frankly, I’d rather they NOT pray a “generic” prayer as I don’t see that as anything more than religious practice. I want my children to talk to God - not follow some indoctrinating incantation that summons the magical genie in the sky. And I certainly don’t want a government employee telling my kids how to have that conversation. Plus, I don’t want them to come home one day to tell me that they have learned all about Allah and his one true prophet Muhammed, or to tell me that they’re now following Tom Cruise on the path of enlightenment or how the Dali Lama is their new best friend. When it comes to spiritual matters, I won’t hesitate to be the leader in that area for my kids.

Ahh - last, but not least, the issue that will surely get me shot before I turn 40. Abortion. I’ve seen churches tell their people to vote for particular candidates based on this issue and this issue alone. In fact, I believe many people would vote for Lucifer himself if he came out as a pro-life candidate (there would be some irony there). The underlying concern is the saving of an innocent life. To be honest, there’s a strong hint of hypocrisy here, as pro-war hawks that are also anti-abortion would have a hard time justifying the loss of innocent life in a war against the backdrop of abortion. Let me be clear - I’m not pro-abortion. I don’t savor the idea of a child going unborn, when adoption is a possibility. What I don’t favor is the government enforcing my morals on the general populace.

What I am saying is two things.

First, inviting the government to enforce your moral code is a slippery slope. Even if you are in the majority now, giving them that power means not having it for yourself. So, the moment a NEW majority arises, the power you gave to use for your purposes can THEN be used against you. The government should protect us from just a few things - those who would do us harm, those who would take fiscal advantage of us and those who would wage war against us. All else should be personal responsibility. I shouldn’t ask the government to protect me from myself.

Secondly - and even more importantly (and related to my other writings, to be fair) - is the notion that as Christians, we are willing to turn over our morals to be enforced by a potentially violent (government can use guns to enforce laws) force that is cold and uncaring. We’d rather throw a girl in jail for pursuing an abortion than be there for her? How is this in-line with what Jesus lived and said? Why don’t we think about WHY she wanted it in the first place? We’d rather force our kids to pray than teaching them how to have a real relationship with their savior? Are we encouraging religion? Do we really want the nanny-state teaching our kids about what we believe?

I’m afraid that the church has sadly relinquished it’s rightful role as a light. Instead, we’re rampant with political involvement, funding candidates who are anti-abortion but pro-war and turning a blind-eye to the true source of the problem. We’d rather donate money to political action committees than soup kitchens. We’d rather imprison desperate young women and bomb another country’s children then involve ourselves in their desperate lives. We’d rather cast the homeless and hungry off our streets than clothe and feed them.

The truth is, the issues above matter little to me. What matters to me more is the fact that the modern church is FOCUSED so keenly on these things. I’m indifferent to whether abortion is legal or not. I’m indifferent to the display of the Ten Commandments. And I’m indifferent to prayer in schools.

What I am not, and will never be indifferent to, is the ever-pervasive trend of the church removing herself from the responsibility of being a source of healing in a hurting world. THAT is the true controversy.

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August 1, 2007 by David.

“The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong.”

- Mahatma Gandhi

When I came across this saying, I nearly cried. NEARLY - I’m not that girly. Anywho…it’s quotes like these that drive me. It’s simple, easy to understand and conveys a truth so profound that you can’t ignore it. It’s not dressed in elegance or fancy prose. Nor is it disguised in sarcasm, wit or irony. It is honest. It is straightforward. And, most of all, it is piercing.

But David, isn’t writing about forgiveness the biggest Christian cliche, like, ever? Probably, but most people write about forgiving others. I still struggle with that, but I’ve gotten better. My bigger problem, though, is with forgiving myself (cue dramatic orchestral sweep).

Ahhhhh - nothing starts the morning better than coffee with cream and a little inner turmoil, eh?

To be honest, I think I’d sooner forgive a murderer than I would myself. Not sure why, either. I often get the inclination that I’d like to go back in time and give my old-self a good old-fashioned butt whuppin’ for some of the things I’ve done or things I’ve said. I get that inclination daily. Hourly, even. In fact, writing about this inclination makes me think back and has sparked that inclination yet again. WOW - I’ve just run in a full mental circle without breaking a sweat. Beat that, Einstein.

Moving on…It’s not that I don’t think I’m forgiven. I get that. It’s not that I haven’t learned from some of my past mistakes (size 12 shoes on size 8 feet anybody?). To be honest, I’m not sure where it comes from. An overblown sense of justice? A lack of self-respect? A twisted desire to punish myself? Lack of faith? Don’t get me wrong, I’m not like this all the time. It’s usually pretty infrequent, although I have noticed it tends to accompany copious amounts of hard liquor like white on rice…

Sometimes the little things bother me, such as sarcastic comments I meant in humor that came off poorly. Sometimes it’s the biggies, like a former friend who is now missing some teeth because of me. The most painful ones involve my kids. I’ve sworn to protect them and yet, I’m often the first to hurt them (not physically, mind you, so don’t go calling DFACS). Even more bitter are the things I do that I hated when they were done to me. Ouch.

Am I alone in this? Does anyone else struggle with self-forgiveness? Or do I need to check myself into the nearest funny-farm for some deep, introspective therapy?

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August 1, 2007 by David.

Anyone who knows anything about music knows that Adam Ant is most certainly NOT the Greatest Pop Star Ever. He has one of the most unique names. He even had a pretty unique look. And, to boot, I think he had a hit in the 80s. Maybe two. So, what would ever qualify Adam Ant as the greatest? How ’bout if he said so? Let’s take this one step further. Adam Ant says he can fly and he’s the King of France. Does that make it true?

You’re probably wondering “David, what are you getting at” or “David, have you started doing crack again?” Whereas the second might be true, I AM getting at something. I’m wondering how Christians expect normal people (Christians are most definitely NOT normal) to just believe that the Bible is the infallible, perfect Word of God. It’s not that I don’t believe it to be the case (more on that later), it’s that the standard argument is a cyclical fallacy. Why is the Bible claimed as the infallible, perfect Word of God? Well, because the Bible says it is!

Um…ok.

I’ve heard this at least 30 thousand times the past 14 years. And it has never really made sense to me. Yet, I see people just accept it with little to no challenge. It’s one of those “don’t challenge it because it is JUST TRUE” statements of faith. And, while I accept that many things happen that have no explanation and more things happen that we don’t understand, I’ve never been settled with the idea that this statement falls in one of those categories. Frankly, it just sounds silly. “It’s perfect because it says it is.”

The answer is Yes - I did quit believing in Santa at an early age. Sad, I know - this questioning part of my personality sure has caused me some headaches throughout life.

Let me clarify something - I’m not saying I don’t believe the Bible isn’t perfect, I’m just saying the traditional explanation for WHY is really, really sad. It usually garners a raised eye-brow (that most Christians either don’t see, or ignore altogether) from non-believers that visibly states “you’re a french fry short of a happy meal, aren’t you?” Yet, for the past 14 years, I’ve heard it more times than I’ve heard my own name. Seriously. I rarely get called David anymore.

Have we really become numb to how we sound? Do we really forget what our words sound like?

“My name is David and I have the strength of 100 men. You know why? Because I said so.” NO, no, no! That statement does NOT give me the strength of 100 men. That statement makes me an idiot. Really, doesn’t it?

Well, if you’re still reading, you may be wondering why I still believe the Bible is the infallible, perfect Word of God. Simply put, I believe Christianity to be the only faith that makes sense. Every other religion in the world preaches about how you can save yourself through human righteousness and self-sacrifice. In other words, God makes you appease Him. Only Christianity is about what God does to save you. As a father, it makes perfect sense. I love my children enough that I’ll save them - I don’t want them to appease me to earn my favor. They have it, just for being my children. As a part of that, I don’t believe God would allow his children to be misled. To me, that means the Bible would never have been allowed to be flawed (when taken in context, mind you) because that would intentionally mislead an entire faith. That doesn’t mean that things aren’t subject to interpretation, just that they are there in exactly the way God wants them. In fact, I believe much of the Bible is left to interpretation for the expressed purpose of pursuit. If it was all spelled out, we’d have no need to actually learn or grow - we’d be nothing more than automatons.
I know my explanation lacks scientific clarity or a whiz-bang reason that brings it all home. Simply put, my reason still does require an element of faith. It does, however, make some logical sense to me. At the very least, I avoid - some, not all - of the “he’s crazy” looks. Well, at least when it comes to this. I think.

Oh, and U2 is the greatest rock band ever.

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