Terrible Segues

One of the strategies I used to be taught as a young “Christian” was the idea of finding an opening to talk about my faith. Rather than engage in a normal dialog with someone, I was to be very conscience of “openings” through which I could rip off my shirt, expose my giant “S” and save their lives as Super-Christian-Man. In other words, I was to segue the conversation to Jesus.

Well, as with many things in life, things don’t always work out in reality the same way they work out in theory.

“I’m sorry to hear your dog was hit by a car this weekend. Do you know who could have saved your dog? Jesus…”

Oh lord.

“That sure was a good dinner. But, do you know who fills me better than a tasty beef strogonof? That would be Jesus…”

Ugghhh.

“Wow, did you see that touchdown pass! That was amazing! By the way, let me tell you about the quarterback of my soul, Jesus…”

Oh please.

“It’s so sad that your car was stolen at gun point. That must have been terrifying! You know what else would be terrifying? Life without Jesus…”

God forgive us.

“Thanks, I’d love something to drink. Did you know that there is an everlasting source of drink for your hell-bound soul? His name is Jesus…”

Oy vay.

Thinking about it, these terrible segues are probably part of the reason I didn’t have too many friends after my Christian indoctrination.

It’s funny to think about how awkward these “save their soul” segues can be. There’s nothing natural about “finding an opening” when talking with someone. For one, it disengages you from the person you’re talking to.

It also makes you sound like a moron.

Yet, many churches still teach their kids to act in such a way. As if being a teenager isn’t awkward enough?

The thing I’ve noticed about my faith is that talking about it just sometimes happens. I don’t have to force it. It’s a vital part of my life now and doesn’t need to be shoe-horned into a conversation about dinner, or just after a touchdown celebration. I’ve also found that respecting what other people believe, instead of looking at them as uneducated heathens, has helped as well. I’ve also come to the realization that some people just don’t want to hear about what I believe. So, rather than being an obnoxious used car salesman, I find it easier (and better) to just respect their right to noise-free air.

Frankly, the most impressive things we can do as Christians rarely (if ever) has anything to do with our words anyways.

This entry was posted on August 24, 2007 at 8:15 am and is filed under General. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response or trackback from your own site.