Crazy Christian Sayings

August 23, 2007 by David.

You know, Christians can be funny creatures. We’ve developed our own language that befuddles the average person. It’s like being in a secret club where only select members know the password. Or being French. Same difference.

But when you really think about it, some of the things we say are just absolute gibberish to people who practice speaking sensibly. You know, most of the rest of the world.

“I’ve got Jesus in my heart.” - You know, from a purely physical standpoint, this one is kinda creepy. We all kinda know what it means, but it still sounds a little silly. Even my kids recognize this when one of them stated that Jesus would “jump out of our hearts to beat up the bad guys and save us.”

“Jesus saved me.” - Uh huh. Really? First of all, what did you need saving from and secondly, did he wear tights and a cape or was he more of the brooding, dark super-hero ala Bat-man?

“God is my co-pilot (or pilot).” - You know, this makes sense when I consider how some people drive. It’s pretty apparent that THEY aren’t driving. Although, it makes you wonder if God got his driver’s license if HE’S the pilot for some of these folks…

“I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.” - So, if Christians are Barry Bonds, then Jesus is their pusher? Yowza!

“I’m nothing without Jesus.” -  Fine and dandy, except it makes Jesus sound like your skeletal system. Or your internal organs. Or your brain…

“God is the Alpha and Omega, the beginning and the end.” - Uh, then Who is the middle?

“God is everything to me.” - So, that McDonald’s happy meal…uh…that’s God too? Not sure God wants to be associated with a terrible cheeseburger and a cheap plastic toy.

Don’t get me wrong, different groups have their own lexicons by which they find a way to alienate others. Sometimes, though, it’s good to find in ourselves the things we can laugh about.

We should never be so serious as to not be willing to laugh about the things that make us unique.

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