Why does our own death scare us?

Death. We see it nightly on our newscasts. We hear it on the radio. We sing about it, write about it and make movies about it. And why not? It’s the only thing we can be certain of.

Sorry - I don’t mean to be depressing. But the thought occurred to me - why are we so afraid of our own deaths? What is it about this change that shakes us? I’d like to offer up some potential reasons:

Uncertainty of the Afterlife. I think most of us, at some point or another, question whether there is an afterlife. Many people flat out deny there is one. So, in those instances, death is the finale - the last curtain call. There’s just something about the end that is scary. What if we were wrong? What if we picked the wrong religion or didn’t earn our way in? There are so many questions about the afterlife that every faith attempts to quiet, but few ever do.

Unfulfilled Life. I think death exposes our fears about life more than of death itself. The thought of dying and having NOT lived is terrifying to some. Some people take it to the extreme and tempt death. Others are so fearful of death that they hide away, never embracing many of the excitements that life offers. Death puts lives under a microscope and makes us question whether the life we live is the one we want to live. Has it been fulfilling and rewarding? Or are we just biding time until death comes knocking?

Not Providing for Loved Ones Left Behind. What happens if I die today? Will my family be taken care of? Have I put the things in place that I need to, like life insurance or savings? This one scares me as well. With a wife and 3 kids - and being the sole bread-winner - I want to ensure that my death will not cause them pains in life (other than the obvious emotional ones).

Unresolved Fights or Conflicts. This one should scare any person. We see it in the movies and tv shows all the time. Two people have a big fight. One walks away, the other dies. The survivor is racked with guilt. I think this fear often has me by the throat. Am I right with my family and friends at this moment, or have I left things unsaid? Have I apologized where I needed to? Have I told the people that matter to me that I love them? Can I die now, and know that the people in my life know where we stand?

As I thought through these, it dawned on me that many of these are avoidable, to some extent. Obviously, faith does not mean we don’t have doubts, so there will always be some uncertainty about the afterlife. However, the other things can be worked on. I can start making decisions to live a fulfilling life. I can spend more time with my family and friends and less time crawling my way up the corporate ladder. I can also get the life insurance my family will benefit from, all while stowing away enough money for a rainy day. Finally, I can make it a point to get together with my friends and family to ensure that I’ve said the things I need to say. To ensure that I forgive those who have wronged me and to ask for forgiveness from those I’ve wronged.

As painful as death can be, maybe it’s the shadow that it casts that reminds us of the sunshine we otherwise have.

This entry was posted on August 3, 2007 at 10:48 am and is filed under General. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response or trackback from your own site.