The Pain of Growing

July 29, 2007 by David.

I have 3 boys - ages 6, 5 and 3. I love them to death. Caleb, Luke and Avery are nothing short of amazing to me. Each one of them has a different personality and different interests, but they are all a part of me. Recently, however, Caleb - our oldest - has started challenging us (especially my wife) in everything. He’s been openly defiant and has garnered a few more punishments than usual. For my wife and I, it’s been painful. The boy we once knew appears to be changing and it’s a challenge.

I think the same is true of me. Frankly, it should be true of everyone. I’m not the same person I was at the age of 20 or 25  or even 30 (just 2 years ago). It’s called growth and it can be painful. It’s pain is not just for the one growing, but also for those watching the growth. Since growth means change, we’re instinctively fearful of it. For those who knew me 10 years ago, they will have seen a very different person than the one they know now. Some might even say I’ve lost my mind - and they may be right!

But one thing is for sure - I’m growing. I’m changing. I’m challenging everything around me, just like Caleb. From little things to big things, I’m asking critical questions. Is the tithe truly scriptural and applicable today? What does it truly take to be saved? How do we balance the need for forgiveness with the realism of self-protection? Does God have detailed plans for me or is it more like a general road map? Why are cuss words magical “sin-generators?” Does culture determine sin or does the heart?

This growth can often mean that I’ll head down the wrong road - just like Caleb - and have to find out for myself. Just like Caleb, some lessons have to be learned the hard way. And though I think I’m moderately intelligent, I’ll be the first person to tell you that I don’t know everything and that my opinion is just as wrong as everyone else’s. That’s not what is important, though. The diligent search for truth, meaning and understanding is never-ending. When we stop growing and assume we know it all, we’re done. We might as well throw in the towel and walk away.

So, for those of you watching this growth take place - please be patient. I know it can be painful, but it is necessary.

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