July 31, 2007 by David.

Of all the things I hate the most in life, the one that tops the list is also the one I’m chiefly guilty of.

I say the church should focus on loving people. Yet, I speed past a homeless man asking for financial handouts. Hypocrite.

I say the church is failing to be relevant to today’s generation. Yet, I don’t spend much time figuring out who today’s generation is. Hypocrite.

I say a good father actively engages his children. Yet, I often come home only to collapse on the couch while my boys play elsewhere. Hypocrite.

I say a person needs to learn to forgive to move on in their lives. Yet, I’m not sure I’ve ever forgiven my father for being absent in my childhood. Hypocrite.

I say money doesn’t buy happiness. Yet, I often spend for the sheer thrill of spending and having the latest things. Hypocrite.

I encourage friends to take chances and to believe in themselves. Yet, I’m often self-deprecating and risk-averse. Hypocrite.

Wow - that last one was kind of self-referential, eh?

I’m thankful I have friends and family who look past my hypocrisy and love me anyway. And I’m glad I’m not perfect, as it gives me plenty of things to work on. Sometimes, though, I think I should just keep my mouth shut and not say anything at all. At least then, I’m not so much of a hypocrite.

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July 31, 2007 by David.

Anyone that knows me knows that I tend to take few things seriously. The opposite used to be true, however, and looking back - it really made me out to be a complete nut-case at times. Some would say I’m still the “nut-case,” but at least I’m not as serious now. Mostly. I think. Moving on…

I wonder if Christians are often aware of how silly we can sound to the average person. We often speak in high and lofty language that makes us either seem a) completely insane or b) arrogant AND completely insane. We use our own language - dubbed Christian-ese by some perceptive fellow - and we wonder why people often treat us with disdain. Let’s consider some examples, shall we?

Our savior, with whom we have a “relationship,” lived 2000 years ago but is still alive and never died (well, He did, but came back to life and didn’t die again). Oh yeah, he also walked on water - the same ones he calmed by speaking a few simple words. He is also alive “inside of me.” He’s my copilot (or pilot, depending on how lofty you want to be). He also brought a dead man back to life. His first miracle? He turned water to wine at a wedding (my non-Christian friends are really in favor of this one).
So, in other words, I have an intimate relationship with the invisible, water-walking, magic man. And He’s small enough to fit in my vascular organ. Um, yeah.

Truly, there are times when what we say is absolutely ridiculous sounding. I’m not saying it’s not true, it just sounds ridiculous. It really makes the saying “better seen than heard” resound loudly, which is kind of what I’m getting at.

Rather than speaking like a bunch of crazed “Waco-ish” lunatics who believe in magical mini-man-gods that can move mountains, we should let our lives speak for themselves. Our words can betray us and may not do justice to what we know to be truth. I can tell my children endlessly that I love them - but my hugs and quality time mean more than those words ever will.

The same is true of our faith. We can speak until the cows come home and never place a dent in someone’s thoughts about life and eternity. However, give them your love, compassion and time and we may just find that they’ll want to know the invisible, water-walking, magic man.

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July 30, 2007 by David.

One of the most frightening things about bringing up a child is the thought that this new person will have to make their own decisions. In many ways, letting a child learn and think is the hardest thing to do. However, sometimes the best way to learn that that the stove is hot is to burn your own hand. That doesn’t suppress the desire to snatch my kids’ hands away, though. That desire - the desire to control the patently uncontrollable - is universal. Some call it a God-complex. Others label it a “dominating personality.” There are hundreds of ways to skin this cat, but it all comes down to control.

It’s interesting, to think of the church throughout history. The history of the church - and really, all organized religions - is one of corruption, greed and power. Obviously, the church isn’t defined by these things, but one would be hard-pressed to deny the dark moments of the church and where it has stemmed from. Consider this - several of Paul’s books to the churches were written in response to issues within the church. So, from the earliest days of the Christian church, there have been problems - which makes sense. After all, the church is comprised of broken people living in a broken world. It makes perfect sense that the things that define are darkest characteristics would come out in the church.

Interestingly, I think the modern church has carried on some of these traditions. I think the intention is good, but the execution poor. We tend to forget that the lessons we learn in life will often cause pain, but also cause lasting change. Attempting to control the thoughts and actions of a person might yield the short-term benefit of keeping that person out of harm’s way, but will not ultimately shape the person or help them grow. For instance, many churches - including some I used to attend - openly condemn rated R movies, and even some PG-13 movies and will tell people that they are actively engaging in sin by viewing these movies. Or, alternatively, we label certain words as what I like to call “magical sin words” whose very utterance means God can no longer “look at you” (I’ve actually heard this!) and you must repent immediately. We call them cuss-words. Now, I’m not saying cussing is God-pleasing or that we should actively engage in it, but I’ve come to wonder whether the simple utterance is sin, or if the heart behind the words is where the sin is found. If I utter a cuss-word in humor - that causes laughter and joy - but I scream “shut up” at my own children, which set of words would you consider darker and more profoundly identifiable as sin? Which words cause more harm?
I understand that for very young Christians, the idea is to “protect” their minds from things that would corrupt. But, there is a very thin line between protection and outright thought-policing. If we are to engage our faith, and watch it grow as every other relationship we maintain, then we must challenge it. We must be able to approach it with a critical mind and open and honest questions. Jesus himself questioned the laws, and often lived in defiance of them (working on the sabbath for example). He set an example of living a faith that is about relationships, not rules and regulations. He summarized the laws of the Old Testament into identifiable relational concepts - loving God and loving our neighbors. Relationships are by their nature, very complex. The only way to grow in a relationship is to engage yourself in it, not build boxes and rules around it.

This questioning - the challenging of “why” - starts early on. God has placed the desire to understand in the smallest of children. “Because I said so” just isn’t going to cut it anymore. It’s time for the church - and many parents, frankly - to allow the children to learn the lessons they need to learn. Guidance and support are still critical, but sometimes one must touch the stove-top to understand that it’s hot.

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July 29, 2007 by David.

I have 3 boys - ages 6, 5 and 3. I love them to death. Caleb, Luke and Avery are nothing short of amazing to me. Each one of them has a different personality and different interests, but they are all a part of me. Recently, however, Caleb - our oldest - has started challenging us (especially my wife) in everything. He’s been openly defiant and has garnered a few more punishments than usual. For my wife and I, it’s been painful. The boy we once knew appears to be changing and it’s a challenge.

I think the same is true of me. Frankly, it should be true of everyone. I’m not the same person I was at the age of 20 or 25  or even 30 (just 2 years ago). It’s called growth and it can be painful. It’s pain is not just for the one growing, but also for those watching the growth. Since growth means change, we’re instinctively fearful of it. For those who knew me 10 years ago, they will have seen a very different person than the one they know now. Some might even say I’ve lost my mind - and they may be right!

But one thing is for sure - I’m growing. I’m changing. I’m challenging everything around me, just like Caleb. From little things to big things, I’m asking critical questions. Is the tithe truly scriptural and applicable today? What does it truly take to be saved? How do we balance the need for forgiveness with the realism of self-protection? Does God have detailed plans for me or is it more like a general road map? Why are cuss words magical “sin-generators?” Does culture determine sin or does the heart?

This growth can often mean that I’ll head down the wrong road - just like Caleb - and have to find out for myself. Just like Caleb, some lessons have to be learned the hard way. And though I think I’m moderately intelligent, I’ll be the first person to tell you that I don’t know everything and that my opinion is just as wrong as everyone else’s. That’s not what is important, though. The diligent search for truth, meaning and understanding is never-ending. When we stop growing and assume we know it all, we’re done. We might as well throw in the towel and walk away.

So, for those of you watching this growth take place - please be patient. I know it can be painful, but it is necessary.

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July 26, 2007 by David.

Doubtless, if you’ve ever attended a school, at some point in time you’ve had a substitute teacher. After all, there is only so much a teacher can put up with before he/she has a meltdown and has to take some time off.

Anyhow - we all have our stories about substitute teachers. Some of the substitute teachers were absolute push-overs. They’d show up for class ready to do absolutely nothing. They’d give you busy work (I’d always end up drawing) so that they could finish the Harlequin romance novel they dragged into class. Others attempted to get the students to do “real” work but would often be content with a quiet classroom. Every now and then, though, you’d get the substitute teacher that was determined to fill in for the missing teacher. This sub would often come in to the classroom with an air of responsibility and authority. However, most students would resent this. Either because they wanted to take advantage of the situation or because the substitute just doesn’t have the same authority and respect that the actual teacher does.

In many ways, if you call yourself a Christian, you’re a substitute teacher. You’re filling in for the main teacher while He’s gone. And that’s great, except for when we show up expecting people to give us the same respect as the teacher. You see, the Teacher paid a price to get where He’s at. A price you and I didn’t have to pay. He made it possible for us to substitute in the first place. Without Him, we don’t even have a job, much less an audience with the students he’s asked us to watch over.

It’s this position that we have - substitute teacher - that I believe should temper how much we try to “teach” the students around us. We’ve become so convinced that we have the same knowledge and authority of the real Teacher, that we have no problem telling the students how things should be done. And just as in school, the students resent it.

I guess the obvious question is how does this relate to our Spiritual life? Easy - we don’t need to be telling people what it means to be a Christian, no more than we want others to tell us. For example, if we come across a gay person who claims to know Christ, it’s not our responsibility or position to tell that person they are living in sin (as many Christians are quick to do). I know many people will take high offense to this statement, but here’s the gut-level truth. We don’t believe the Holy Spirit works anymore. We often turn into the overzealous substitute because we don’t think the Teacher is doing the job.

Ouch - you read that right. When we take on the role of “convictor” or “sin recognizer,” we’re actively engaging in what God Himself said he would take care of. If someone has truly turned himself over to Christ, then Christ will teach the lessons that need to be learned. We can trust in that, because He promised that. The process of discipleship is not about revealing and conquering sin, it’s about developing a closer relationship with the real Teacher so that we can ultimately learn our necessary lessons from Him. He knows intimately what lessons are needed and when. He knows the heart of each man, woman, boy and girl and can determine how best to teach that lesson. We are simply not equipped like He is. Let’s leave the hard stuff to Him.

As substitute teachers, we’re simply here to keep watch and to love the students He’s asked us to care for. We need to trust that when it comes time, the students in His care will learn the lessons they need to learn.

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July 25, 2007 by David.

Growing up, I never understood why my parents always reinforced the concept of surrounding myself with good friends. You know, the kind that didn’t smoke and drink, or lie, cheat and steal. Unfortunately, I made some poor friends in my teens - and though I never actively participated in the questionable activities - I gained a reputation just by the association I had with them. Looking back, it makes more sense now. I can now see my parents were right (don’t you hate that?).

Several years ago, my wife and I found out that one of our friends - someone who was one of my groomsmen in our wedding - was accused of child molestation. The mere thought of the accusation sent chills up my spine and made me want to vomit. That I had an association with this person was even more chilling. Suddenly, I didn’t want to be associated with this person at all. The mere association was damning.

Thinking about these instances - where the mere association with a negative group or person can reflect poorly on you - made me think about the term “Christian” and the association that brings with it. After reading Don Miller’s Blue Like Jazz, it dawned on me - the primary reason people avoid the Church is due to association. It’s not that Christians are child molesters or lying, cheating, thieves (some are, for sure). It’s that the mere association of the term instantly reflects on who you are, just or not just. To a world that hasn’t grown up in the church, what does that association represent?

Well, for starters, a Christian doesn’t drink - right? No alcohol for you. I know LOTS of people who find this to be a significant stumbling block. What else? Well, Christians are pro-life, pro-war conservatives who voted for Bush twice. That alone just wiped 50% of your “target” audience out. Anymore? Try this on - Christians condemn homosexuality, sex before marriage, divorce, public schools and anything involving Madonna.
I know what you’re thinking - these aren’t fair assessments. There are plenty of Christians who drink and plenty who are NOT pro-life and war-hawks. That may be, but many leaders in the Church over the last several decades have been very expressive about “the church’s” stance on these issues. Groups like the Christian Coalition have made it a point to only support candidates that reflected many of the values above. They’ve organized rallies at the foot of the capitol condemning abortion and homosexuality and Madonna (ok, I’m not sure about the last one, but it’ll happen in due time). They’ve thrown large amounts of money to candidates who reflect the “core” values of the Church. In short, leaders in the “Christian” community have set a standard for what it means to be a Christian.

The only problem with this standard, though, is that it is not the standard Jesus Himself set. Reading through the gospels, I couldn’t find where the Savior advocated one political stance over another. In fact, when it came to politics, He chose to stay out of it. His ministry here on earth was focused on one key concept - loving one another. When the pharisees tried to corner him into picking the greatest commandments (read: laws), Jesus responded with words that have echoed through the entire new testament. He gave just two commandments: Love God with all your heart, mind, body and spirit and love your neighbor as yourself. Not a single mention of homosexuality, or condemning divorce. Not one word uttered about drinking. No mention of what candidate he endorsed.

The thing is, I think Jesus would be more interested in why a young girl desires an abortion more so than making it illegal. He’d be more interested in knowing why someone feels the need to drink excessively than condemning it. He’d be more interested in who truly owns the heart of the homosexual rather than whether that person should be able to “marry” their partner. He’d be more interested in what pain has driven a couple to divorce than brow-beating them about it.

And yet, this doesn’t LOOK like the modern church. In fact, the opposite appears to be true. And that association is what drives people away. When they speak about hypocrites in the church, they’re exactly right. We claim we love God and follow Jesus, yet, we often take a stance that Christ himself never took and probably never would have. We’ve used His name for political propaganda and to push our own agendas. It’s no wonder that the Church is no longer growing. People just don’t want to be associated with it.

So, if you’re asking - I’m with Him. Always will be.

And No, I’m NOT with them…

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July 24, 2007 by David.

It’s funny - when I created the name “Broken Burden” - I had a very specific idea in my mind. But as with many things in life, the ideas we start off with are not the ones we end up with. In this case, almost 2 years after the fact, this phrase has come to mean a very different thing to me.

Our burdens age us - they weigh on us like a 2 ton block on our shoulders. They take many different forms. Stress at work. Fights at home. Severed relationships. Unresolved conflicts. The list goes on and on and on.

Burdens keep us up until the late, late hours. They make us question ourselves and the direction our lives have taken. Those big, black bags under your eyes? Burdens. The noticeable loss of hair over the last few weeks? Burdens. The sudden 20 pound weight gain from comfort eating? Burdens.

You’re probably asking “so what?” at this point. “Everyone deals with these things - it’s life.” Tis true; we all have burdens. The question is not whether you have them. The question is whether you are controlling them or if they are controlling you. Are you living a life that is tossed by each wave, small or big? Or are you traversing the waters regardless of the ebb and flow? When Jesus came, He promised that His “…burden is easy and my yoke is light.” And here lies the key of “broken burden” - the ability to fully pass the weight and pain of a burden to Christ. Not in some magical, super-mystical sense but in a real, relational sense. It goes beyond Jesus as God. Beyond the unapproachable. It penetrates to the soul and it cleanses, purifies and heals.

To live the life that Christ intended - that is the broken burden.

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